Goodbye Love
by Larson Than Words
Summary: The musical number, "Goodbye Love" told through various characters points of view. I do not own the rights to RENT Jonathan Larson, 1996
1. The Other Side of the Camcorder

The Other Side of the Camcorder

Mark walked through the fields, past the graves, knowing all to well that Angel was just the first. He dropped his camera. He observed as Mimi began questioning Roger.

"It's true you sold your guitar and bought a car?"

It's true", Roger admitted, "I'm leaving now for Santa Fe - it's true you're with this yuppie scum?" Benny recoiled in disgust. Mark could see the situation getting out of hand.

"You said you'd never speak to him again", Benny barked at Mimi.

Mark watched as his friends began, one by one, to join the brawl. Mark felt a queezy feeling in his stomach. Something he'd never felt before: sadness. The first true sadness. He thought of Maureen and wondered whether he really ever was hung up on her. The fight broke out into a riot.

"Come on guys, chill!" Mark screamed, noticing Benny had felt the same way. Was Benny made an outcast simply for the fact that he had married Alison?

His thoughts were interrupted by the mention of Angel. He choked back, and immediately, on impulse, dove for his camera. 'Observe', he told himself.

He watched Roger attack. "Your words are nice Mimi, but love's not a three-way street!" Mark choked at the thought that followed. "You'll never share real love until you love yourself... I should know."

Finally, Collins appeared to break up the fight. He calmed Joanne, Maureen, Roger and Mimi.

"I can't believe he's gone." Mark understood. "I can't believe this family must die." Mark, having distanced himself from the brawl was entertained at the thought. It was poetic.

Mark thought and thought. He couldn't understand why one missing link in the chain had rendered the friends beyond repair.

"I can't believe this is goodbye."

"I hear there are great restaurants out west"

"Some of the best." Roger's mind wandered. "How could she?"

Mark was confused. "How could you let her go?"

"You just don't know." Roger tried to relate it to Mark. "How could we lose Angel?"

Mark was angry. "Maybe you'll see why when you stop escaping your pain! At least now," Roger only had a "now". He didn't have a future. "...if you try," Mark added quickly. He frowned. "Angel's death won't be in vain."

"His death IS in vain!"

"Are you insane? There's so much to care about. There's me," Mark thought. "There's Mimi."

Roger recoiled in defense. "Mimi's got her baggage too."

"So do you!" Mark's interjection wasn't welcome.

"Who are you to tell me what I know? What to do!"

"A friend!"

"But who, Mark, are you?" This really was the last straw. Roger bared his teeth, hissing each time he spoke his name. "Mark has got his work, they say Mark lives for his work! And Mark's in love with his work." Roger bit back. Mark tried to encourage him, not realizing that what was being held back was not what he wanted to hear.

"Mark HIDES in his work!"

Immediately defensive, Mark spat out, "from what?"

"From facing you're failure - facing you're loneliness." Mark wasn't lonely before today. Mark was in between a rock and a hard place. Mark was tired. Mark was angry. Mark was sad. Mark was outraged. Mark was forgiving, and Mark was alive. "Facing the fact you live a lie."

Mark was hurt. He was fascinated by how much he could feel. How much he could care for. The tears were right on time.

"You pretend to create and observe when you really detach from feeling alive-"

"Perhaps it's because I'm the one of us to survive!"

Mark tried and tried, but he couldn't help crying.

"Poor baby!" Roger was hurt. Mark finally understood why he was always so down. Mark understood. So did Roger.

"Mimi still loves Roger. Is Roger really jealous - or afraid that Mimi's weak?"

"Mimi did look pale..."

Now was the time to stand up. He felt it in his bones and in his heart. In of burst of thriving passion, he blurted, "Mimi's gotten thin, Mimi's running out of time! ROGER's running out the door!"

"No more!" Roger had to leave fast, before he became to attached. Mark understood this, even before it was said. "I've gotta go." Mark was compassionate. So was Roger.

"Hey, for someone who's always been let down, who's heading out of town?"

"For someone who longs for a community of his own, who's with his camera... alone!"

The passion was there. Roger spoke, at first choking back the words. Mark was worried. So was Roger.

"I'll call... I hate the fall."

Roger had bumped into a pole on his way out. It was Mimi.

"You heard?"

"Every word." Mimi was sad... longing. It fascinated Mark to finally understand.

Mimi confronted Roger, hitting close to home, hitting close to herself. Roger stormed out of the room.

"Goodbye, love." She began to cry. Her words were flooded with tears until her refrain, "goodbye love... goodbye."

Mark hadn't noticed Benny enter the room.

"Please don't touch me, understand? I'm scared."

Mark was tired of waiting behind his camera. Mark was fed up. "I know a place, a clinic-"

"A REHAB." Benny was there for Mimi. Poor Alison, all alone in Westport tonight.

Mark left the two at that moment, and as the scene changed to the road below, he could see Roger's car peek over the horizon, and then fall into the darkness of the night.


	2. The Coffin

The Coffin

Slumping through the graves was hard, but it seemed very easy compared to listening to his friends at that moment. He tried his very hardest to only hear his own footsteps, but it was too hard. Mimi was there, walking through the graves. 'Maybe I finally have a chance', he thought to no avail. She began to converse with the tall man with black nail polish once again.

"It's true you sold your guitar and bought a car?"

"It's true." He tried to tell himself it was just an ordinary conversation, but he knew the truth, and he did not like it. "I'm leaving now for Santa Fe." There was a glimmer of hope somewhere hidden in the man's words. Then the mood changed as the wind shifts.

"It's true you're with this yuppie scum," the man said angrily. His name came to mind as Benjamin Coffin III overflowed.

"You said you'd never speak to him again!"

"Not now!" Her harsh words poisoned him deeply.

Then, things began to grow, more into a type of debate, rather than a private discussion. 'Oh, great', he thought to himself, 'the lesbians.' There wasn't enough vodka in the world to make him forget the past… was it a year? It had been a long time.

Listening to the fools fight was like watching dogs go after a piece of meat. Mimi didn't deserve that. She was better than that. Afraid, he let out a great, "come on guys, chill!" Mark had shared that scheme.

Benny, feeling more at home now, had a change of mood when he heard "I'd be happy to die for a taste of what angel had!" It wasn't right. Mimi couldn't die… it wasn't possible. It was then that he began to think of AIDS. It was the one thing that connected him to the rest of his "friends". He looked at his watch and saw that it was 7:15. Alison wanted him home in fifteen minutes. Benny didn't want to think of Alison. He dropped his watch, innocently forgetting it "inside the church, probably given to some charity by now."

Watching Roger squirm at Mimi's harsh words was enjoyable. It gave him the false hope he thrived on.

Roger fought back, hurting Mimi. It wasn't right. Had he not been above it, Benny would have jumped on him and done things he thought he wouldn't regret. But no, he was above that. He was above them. He didn't want to believe this, but he knew it was true; and yet he seemed all too depressed at the mention of Angel's death. "I can't believe he's gone," Collins was fighting back tears. "I can't believe you're going." Benny smiled at that, and then realized the truth of the matter. "I can't believe this family must die." Though Benny felt like the unwanted step-uncle who divorced three other wives and whipped his wife. He felt isolated. He seemed to conquer. "I can't believe this is goodbye."

He decided he had to do something. He would pay. He would pay the bill for the funeral of the man who had killed his precious wife's dog. "I always hated that dog." There was a light humor to his words.

He left without accepting much thanks to go check in on Mimi. He told himself that he was doing it in order to be a good person, but deep down he knew he was being selfish, making a move on a wounded woman… no… girl. She wasn't home. Benjamin Coffin III heard a racket from upstairs… from ROGER's apartment. Curious, (and lonely) he went to go scope it out.

"Please don't touch me," Mimi's words were cold, sharp as a knife. It hurt him. Roger had left the room. Mark seemed to lend a hand.

"I know a place… a clinic."

"A rehab." Even Benny was surprised by his own words. He had to say something. After that, he had to break the silence. He wasn't comfortable. Mark and Mimi span round and round until he was able to touch the ground. "I'll pay."

He watched as Mimi bid said goodbye to Roger. Mark had left the room. Benny longed for her. He wanted to be with her… and he told himself it was only for the greater good, but he couldn't help feeling selfish again. He began to worry – worry that he wouldn't get his shot – worried that Mimi's only "love" had left.

"Goodbye love, goodbye." Benny frowned.

It was then that he REALLY began to worry. With the thought of saying goodbye and Angel's death, out came the words that would ring in his ears for years and years to come. "Hello… disease."

Mimi fell silent and sat down. Benny followed. It was HIS turn.


End file.
